I spent Thursday driving from Kansas City, Missouri to East Jordan, Michigan. I left at 10:30 a.m. CST, stopped briefly three times throughout the trip and arrived at the Airbnb about 12:30 a.m. EST on Friday. It was a long day of driving, and I had no idea what I would be waking up to since virtually my entire drive through the state of Michigan was in the dark.
Honestly, I knew nothing about Michigan until about a month ago. The beauty was hidden to me because I had never investigated anything about the state. I hadn't previously known anyone from the state, so I hadn't even thought about it. And I clearly didn't pay much attention or retain any information about the state in high school Geography class. But oh, how I have been missing out in so many ways.
It is said, you can't judge a book by its cover, but what if you never even pick up the book? I feel like that's how I lived my life in fear for the first five decades of my life. I was too scared to even pick up the book, let alone open it. What a difference being brave makes. Friday morning, I could not possibly be anything except grateful for this new experience, for the beauty of the sunrise, for the peace of a long walk by a beautiful lake, for long-time friends and family talking to me during the drive to keep me safely awake and on the road, and for a new friend who welcomed me here.
When you rent an Airbnb, you never know exactly what it will be like until you arrive. Sure, there are pictures, like the cover of a book, and there is a brief description of the property similar to a book jacket. Both can appear one way, but upon arrival or reading, one can feel the appearance or description was deceiving. Fortunately, I did not have that experience, but it reminded me that often we can jump to conclusions about people based on appearance, first impressions from what a person says, what we may hear from others about someone or most often a combination of things that in some way remind us of a negative past experience, thought or person. In fact, it's incredibly scary just how quickly we make judgements about people. Read this brief article based on research, it's incredibly incriminating.
As I was walking this morning, I was reflecting on how non-judgmental my new friend has been of me. From time to time, my brain can still fall into old patterns of thinking affecting my behavior and I have done that on more than one occasion. Each time, my friend has shown me such incredible grace, patience and understanding. It occurred to me, the key to my friend's ability to look at me without judgement is likely the knowledge that my behavior is all about me, not my friend. When we don't take other people's behavior as a reflection of us, we can more easily accept them as they are, ask questions or bring their attention to their actions and it is more likely we can stay out of judgement. When we look at others with clear eyes of compassion understanding we don't know their whole story, their hearts or their souls we also have a better chance of staying out of judgement. When we ask ourselves questions about anything that creates fear within us about someone instead of making assumptions, it is much easier to stay out of judgement because most often the fear is unrealized.
I would encourage you to do your own research today and see how quickly and often you judge people. It was hard for me when I started paying attention to my own judgements because it didn't feel good to know I was doing it. But like anything, we first have to realize what we are doing, understand why we are doing it before we can begin to manage it. And what the heck, I'll make it easy for you to start your judgement research by sharing this photo of me I sent to my daughter Friday morning so she'd know I had made it here safe and sound. Each day that I become a little more comfortable with who I am is a day I become a little more comfortable with how I look even when I'm tired, didn't take time to wash my face, put on makeup or fix my hair. Judge away, my friends, it's ok. We are all human, but the more we work on becoming more compassionate and loving humans, the better chance we have of making this world a better place for all of us to learn, grow and live.
No judgement here! You’re beautiful with or without makeup, and even more so inside. Enjoy your visit to Michigan!