Last week I had the privilege of bonding with this little guy one-on-one for four days while his parents were working. He’s my five-month-old nephew and my two nieces came home from their grandparents at the end of the week, so I got one full day hanging out with all three of them. My sister and brother-in-law thanked me for the help, but truly I'm thankful for the opportunity to spend time with them.
I thought to take this photo of us because I was reminded as I was down on the floor playing with him how important it is to meet people exactly where they are. Despite rigorous physical therapy after my three knee surgeries, it's still not as easy for me to get on the floor as it used to be. But even if it takes more care to get down there or more effort to get up, it's the only way that I could meet this sweet baby right where he was. While I held him in my arms a good majority of the day, I know it's important for him to be able to stretch out, roll over, push up with his arms while on his tummy, etc., so I chose to make the extra effort to meet him where he was knowing our relationship would be enhanced as a result. And the same goes for his sisters, too.
One day my nephew was standing on my lap and started to lean in toward me and in that moment, I happened to remember "Eskimo kisses" from when my daughter was a baby. I leaned in and met him halfway, and soon our foreheads gently touched. I proceeded to give him Eskimo kisses as the tips of our noses touched. He giggled and each time I would lift him away from me and back to a standing position, he would quickly lean his head back toward me to get more Eskimo kisses. He giggled each and every time with the sweetest smile, similar to those in this video. I was barely skilled enough to get this video with one hand, so definitely couldn't while holding him and giving him Eskimo kisses, but it will give you an idea of what I saw.
The next day, the first time I lifted him to a standing position on my lap, he leaned right in with that special grin on his face which surprised me because I didn't think he would even remember the Eskimo kisses. It served as a good reminder to me that no matter how small and simple the gesture, giving someone our time, attention and/or affection can make a lasting impact.
It takes effort to develop and maintain relationships of all kinds, but sometimes relationships are the things we invest the least amount of time and energy into and then often question when they falter or sometimes even fail. A few months ago, in response to a blog I shared, my 94-year-old great aunt replied to my post on Facebook stating that she was struggling thinking about an upcoming change in her life. I replied to her and gave her my email address and we've been corresponding ever since. Following is an example of the type of conversations we have, and I'm grateful to have gotten to know her. She has also shared stories about my grandparents and other family members I otherwise wouldn't ever have known.
This conversation started because I had sent her a video of Kylee giving an award acceptance speech where she talks about the fact it's impossible to compare pain. She explained she tried to watch it, but unfortunately couldn't get the volume loud enough to be able to hear it. I then remembered I had saved Kylee's typed speech, so I sent her that document.
On Friday, June 28, 2024, at 07:44:57 PM CDT, Auntie Em wrote: Thank you for the printed version of Kylee's speech. :) I must say that the kind words you said to me--that I am smart, strong and inspirational (I don't seem that way to me)--certainly, more aptly apply to your daughter, as she is certainly all of those and more!! She has achieved so much under circumstances that would certainly cause many others to just give up. Grit and determination along with some inner strength that came into play for her thru this, plus the love and encouragement of her mom.❤️ She is a lovely young woman that you have every right to be just brimming over with pride and love. May the Lord continue to bless her in as many ways as she needs 🙏 I wish the same for you, Ginger🙏. Caring love to both of you.💕From that old Colorado granny sometimes, called Auntie Em 🥰
On Monday, July 1, 2024, at 11:57:42 AM CDT, Ginger Bliss wrote:
If only we could all see ourselves the way others who love us see us. As you'll read in my book, I couldn't see any of those characteristics in myself either for 50+ years...but I can now, although, I define those words differently today.
I thought being smart related to grades, standardized tests, etc. Now I define smart relative to reasoning skills particularly those related to humanity and wisdom gained through experience. Experience isn't always related to age, however, sometimes it's more related to pain. Experience comes when one has survived the pain and develops an ability to understand life, real living and people in order to still love despite knowing that to love is to risk pain and loss.
To me, the word strong used to equate to never showing emotion, especially tears, gutting through anything no matter what, accomplishing every goal, never asking for help, and even refusing help counting only on oneself. Now I define strength in the opposite way, the ability to share pain and emotions of all kinds, saying no when something is too much or not in alignment with personal values, and asking for help when it is needed and receiving it when it's offered.
And inspirational is similar to strength in how my personal definition has changed. The things that used to inspire me were people who did things near perfectly, but now the people who inspire me are those who are as imperfect as they come in one way or another, and yet they use those imperfections to glorify God instead of blaming Him (like I did) or blaming anyone else (as I also did). They give me hope and encouragement that my imperfections can also be used in similar ways if I'm brave enough to honestly reveal them.
Yes, Kylee is all of those and more...but so are you. And I only know that because you have been real with me. I am grateful you had the courage to share about your impending move all those months ago, or I wouldn't have the joy of knowing you as anything other than a distant relative, literally and figuratively. What a blessing it has been to share life with you for these months, learn from you and your experiences and faith, and be encouraged and comforted with your care and love. This is an excellent use of technology, the type that pulls people together, not tears them apart. And all it has taken is a little time and willingness to risk vulnerability sharing from our hearts and souls. The rewards have been well worth the risk, in my opinion. I'm very grateful for that old Colorado granny, sometimes called Auntie Em.
On Mon, Jul 1, 2024, at 11:01 AM Ginger Bliss wrote:
This seems blog worthy to me...would you be willing to allow me to share our conversation in this email? If you're not comfortable, that's perfectly fine, but after I just hit send, it seemed like a conversation others could learn something from and perhaps it could inspire more real conversation among "distant relatives," friends, and families. And to see that technology, social media, isn't all good or bad...it's all in how it's used. Give it some thought and let me know, but either way, you are still just as smart, strong, inspirational and nothing about my opinion of you or care for you will change!! Just because I'm willing to share publicly doesn't mean everyone needs to.
On Tuesday, July 2, 2024, at 05:56:00 PM CDT, Auntie Em wrote:
No, I don't mind. As a preface, lead-in or whatever you might wish--this struck me as a bit of humor--to say that 'a-nonny-mouse' (anonymous) Auntie Em, that visits with me at times--just showed up and joined with me in sharing this conversation---hope it is beneficial to anyone reading this. OK Ginger, this was just something that plopped into my mind as a response to your question if I minded your sharing----do /or not with any part of it that you might wish. 🙃🙃
While I understood the clever reference she made and had heard the word "nonny" a few times, I had to look it up to see exactly what it meant. And that's an additional way, I have truly learned something new every time we correspond.
NONNY definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary (collinsdictionary.com)
After hearing the question asked on a podcast a few times, I recently asked my daughter if her house was on fire what the one thing is she would run back in to get. The smart girl said, “Nothing if the house was on fire,” and I clarified, "If you wouldn't be hurt by doing so, what is the one thing you would run back in to get." She thought for a moment, then stuck with her original answer, nothing. She said, “Material things can be replaced and even if they can't, I'll still have the memories of whatever material possession existed. Sure, it would be sad to lose everything, but people are what matters so nothing else would be worth going back in for.”
And she's right. That's the thing about making people a priority and then meeting them wherever they’re at. The effort may seem small and inconsequential at the time, but even small things like an email or Eskimo kiss can make a big impact and be remembered as treasured moments worth the effort for all involved.
#braveenoughtobebliss #mentalhealth #depression #relationships #smart #strong #inspirational #priorities #people #joy #time #presence #imperfections #family #gbreal
And for more information about the actual meaning and cultural significance of an Eskimo kiss, or the meaning behind all kinds of kisses, click on the links below. And maybe you'll be inspired to invest more time and effort into one of your relationships today.
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