I do not for a moment take for granted the opportunity to be in this beautiful place writing my little heart out.
My heart. That's one part of me I haven't really ever felt needed a makeover. I have had to do lots and lots of work to understand how and why my brain functions as it does and I have had to learn to get very, very still in order to connect with my soul. It wouldn't have looked like this a few years back, but this photo feels like a great representation of my soul at this point in my life.
For 50+ years, I was too scared to slow down. I didn't know why and even the question of why I couldn't sit down or relax was annoying to me. I go into detail in the book, but the point for today is, without learning all I did about my brain and how to manage my thoughts, I never would have been able to reach the depths of my soul. And just look at that photo, like I look at my soul, and it's painful to think I could have missed out on all that beauty.
Earlier this week I met the owner of the first condo I rented at Table Rock Lake. I had exchanged text messages with her several times before my arrival and then again with a couple questions while I stayed there. I asked a non-urgent question, and it took her a few hours to respond which of course was fine with me, but she apologized and mentioned she had been at a funeral. I, of course, offered my condolences. She replied, "I know this sounds crazy because I haven't even met you, but somehow I know I'd like you. You are very kind."
She shared her friend's obituary and told me a little bit about their relationship. I told her the obituary was beautifully written and after reading, it was clear many loved her. I went on to say, "I'm glad you felt comfortable sharing with me. I haven't always been open, but over the past few years I've realized how much more we can help ourselves and each other by sharing our hearts, experiences and pain."
If I hadn't figured out my brain and connected with my soul, this conversation wouldn't have happened. And without this conversation, she wouldn't have come over to visit in person when she was here working on another unit they recently bought. I wouldn't have found out her daughter could do the graphic design work I needed for the book cover, which she finished last week. And I wouldn't have met her other daughter who lives nearby and been able to offer to review the personal statement for her Physician Assistant school applications, which I did last night.
The simple, and yet profound, power of kindness.
When I was young, I had negative experiences related to church, which to me at the time also meant God. Connecting with my soul is where I found the ability to heal from those experiences and so much more. I believe each person's spiritual journey is their own to take and I respect people of any faith tradition, or no faith tradition at all, who are doing their best to live this hard life with kindness and love. Personally, I connect with Jesus because the ideals with which He lived his life are the ones that I believe can get us humans the closest to seeing little bits and pieces of heaven on earth.
If you haven't slowed down enough to really connect with your soul lately, maybe today is the day to try. Otherwise, you'll never know what beauty you may be missing.
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