A few years ago, I heard a very touching song, Some People Do by Old Dominion, and eventually saw the music video. This song really connected with me because I choose to see the best in people and believe in everyone's potential to grow and change.
Some people may jump to the conclusion that I haven't been hurt or I don't personally know the pain people can inflict on others, but it is in fact, because I have been hurt and I do know that pain that I choose have compassion for others now that I have learned to have compassion for myself. Hurt, pain, loss, worthlessness, hopelessness...these are feelings that can lead a person to think things, behave in ways and do things they otherwise would not.
In the past on a personal level, it could be argued that I failed to always have fully healthy boundaries occasionally leading to me feeling hurt or taken advantage of. But despite that, I still choose to see the best in people because more often than not, it has led to positive outcomes for them or me or both of us. I'll take hurt feelings once in a while when I miss something rather than allow myself to become hardened to the goodness of people because of fear. Like the song says, while most people don't change...some people do.
Nearly 20 years ago, I was recognized by a local business magazine as a young leader in the Kansas City metropolitan area. I believed it was important to look for opportunities for the organization and people within it to be recognized for their achievements, but when I learned I was nominated that rule didn't seem to apply in my mind. I believed in recognition for others because they were worthy, but in my mind, I most certainly was not.
I felt I stuck out in this group photo as the one who didn't belong and certainly didn't deserve to be there. I actually believed that other people who looked at this magazine cover also saw me that way. That's the story I made up in my mind. Something that should have been an honor for me became something I dreaded because when I got together with this impressive group of young leaders, I wanted to disappear. But I didn't, so it was simply an exhausting exercise in pretending to be someone who I didn't believe I was. While the decision to change wouldn't come for about 15 more years, that was really the most important step. A firm decision to do the hard work where I could begin to believe in my own potential and goodness as much as I believed in everyone else's.
I recently found a copy of a poem I had shared at a staff meeting many years ago. The poem was Desiderata written by Max Ehrmann (1927). I hope you'll read through the poem slowly and really think about the words.
After I re-read that poem, I was struck by how much hasn't changed over time about the most important things in life. There are countless videos, quotes, podcasts and research articles that I could share saying basically the same things as Ehrmann did nearly 100 years ago. And yet, most people hesitate to change despite the information presented showing the improved outcomes that can result. I think Tony Robbins says it best, "Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”
Life was hard hundreds of years ago and life is hard today. Love, kindness and generosity were present hundreds of years ago and they still are today. When older people or those who are dying are asked what matters most in life, they are saying the same types of things that people did hundreds of years ago. And yet, many of us remain more comfortable even while we are living in dysfunction, fear and pain rather than face the unknown that comes when we begin the process of change.
It's true we can't change anyone but ourselves, but as this music video shows so clearly, we can find ways to support and encourage those who are going through challenges which always has the potential to help inspire change. Who can you encourage, support or inspire toward a positive life change today? And you never know, that action may also inspire a change for the better within you too.
I love reading your blogs, Ginger. You are an inspiration! Can't wait to catch up soon :-). Kerry
Ginger
I researched your bio from 2004 as that was before we had archives on the web ....
This is your write up...
Ginger Bliss
You've most likely already see Ginger Bliss' behind-the-scene work on the newspaper and television ads for the 2800 employees at Shawnee Mission Medical Center ( SMMC). For a while it was a one-person show, but Ginger has helped expand the marketing, communications and planning staff to include seven others. GInger is widely recognized throughout SMMC as a leader, innovaor and a producer, particularly for her work on SMMC's strategic planning committee. Recently Ginger led the hospital through the development of a new brand and corporate image and is now leading the strategic planning efforts fo…