To me, it's so fitting that the Kansas City Chiefs are playing in the Super Bowl today on my dad's 80th birthday. He told me yesterday morning he requested a Super Bowl win from the Chiefs for his birthday. And I have to say, I think he deserves it because, while he's human like all of us, he has spread joy as if every day was the Super Bowl.
I had dinner with my cousin and his family recently and he said, "I've got a Wayne story for you!" My Dad's name is Wayne Miller and he is famous for his stories. If you ever pull up a chair next to him anywhere...a bar stool, at work, waiting for your daughter to try on clothes, standing in line to check out in a store...he will talk with you and in no time at all, he will somehow find a connection. And then, the rest of us will hear about that story the next time we see him.
Truth be told, his daughters and granddaughters may have rolled their eyes once or twice when they've heard the same story multiple times, but talking with my cousin reminded me how blessed we all have been to have heard these stories through the years.
My cousin said when he was younger, he noticed how easily my dad talked with people and as a result, he tried to work on improving that in himself since he works in a service industry. This gave me an opportunity to explain to him that my dad wasn't always that way, in fact, he had been quite shy as a young man. I know this only because I've heard the story...maybe even a couple times including one recent time I asked for.
Last fall, I had a friend who was struggling to know what he wanted to do with his career, so I asked my dad if he would talk with him about his own career path and what he had learned. Knowing my dad's story, I knew he would be able to offer encouragement because he struggled early in life knowing what he wanted to do. Of course, my dad didn't hesitate to talk to this man and share his life story. And amazingly, I heard some stories I hadn't ever heard before and I'm so glad I was there.
The man left encouraged and I have no doubt inspired, as well. As a shy young man, my dad got brave and did something he thought he could not do. He didn't like talking to strangers, so when he was initially approached to work for Farm Bureau Insurance, he was not at all interested. He worked several other jobs that he didn't particularly enjoy and that didn't provide the income he wanted for his family, so ultimately, he went back to the man who approached him and decided to give it a try. Knowing he wouldn't make any income without sales, he pushed himself to do the thing he did not naturally want to do.
And he learned and he grew, and he made himself as successful as the man who hired him knew he could be. After 35 years, he left Kansas Farm Bureau Insurance having served thousands of people as an Agency Manager in Lincoln County, Rooks County and Dickinson County. It was unusual for a small county to be recognized as Agency of the Year, but despite the odds, his team achieved that honor in Rooks County. Paying it forward, he gave many people without sales experience an opportunity to find a solid career. He saw the potential in people, invested in them and gave them every opportunity to succeed.
Five years ago, we were able to pull off a surprise 75th birthday party for him. I don't think it could have gone any better. A number of people drove in for the party which was so heartwarming. Over and over again, I heard people talking about how appreciative they were and what an impact he had made in their lives.
I just rewatched the videos from that day and wanted to share one because it is so impactful. In the video, he is referring to his second ex-wife who was at the party, just so you understand the relationship.
Now having watched that, you will understand how I grew up in a home where loving feelings and physical expressions of love were not easily shown. There's no blame, as often without even thinking about it, we go through life simply passing along to our children the same behaviors we grew up with. That is, until someone comes along in our life who teaches us there is another way that might be better and healthier. Generally, we have to feel safe and loved with that person before we can learn new ways of behaving, but when we do, it's life changing and can be for future generations. It's well worth the initial discomfort and investment of thought, time and energy to make the change.
As is the case so often, I have all these thoughts flowing through my mind and am led to say and do things I don't fully understand at the time. Before I started writing this blog, I recorded a video and sent it to a friend because over the past day or two, I have come to realize some things and I wanted to share my thoughts in a more personal way. If I hadn't done that, it wouldn't have led me to write this blog. That's how it works, I figure out one thing only to be led to another. Sometimes it can be exhausting getting there, but when the light bulb comes on, it's exhilarating.
The point is, whether we are 20 or 80 or any other age, we need to live everyday as if we are living the Super Bowl of our lives. As I watched the video there are several people who were there that day who have since passed away. There were hugs exchanged, stories told, and I love yous said that likely wouldn't have been if we hadn't had the party and he hadn't shared that story. It is often said, at the end of our lives, we will regret the things we didn't do much more than the things we did. So, take a page from the Wayne Miller playbook of life and make sure today you spread some joy, share some stories, give lots of hugs, and don't hesitate to say I love you.
Happy 80th birthday, Dad! At various times, I have questioned in my mind if you really loved me because I didn't "feel" loved, but you were just showing me the only way you knew how at the time, and I also had things to figure out. In case you ever picked up on those feelings from me, though, I wanted to let you know I understand now. And since I have to celebrate with you in person a little late this year, I wanted to give you the gift of my thoughts, my heart and my words today. I am very proud of the man you are and grateful you are my dad. And as long as one and one is two, I now know, there could never be a father who loved his daughter more than you love me.
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